Love and Marriage
Description
Microtheme #2: Love, Dating, Intimacy, Singlehood, Marriage
Overview & Directions
• Microtheme #1 is 4 pages of text, plus cover page, and reference page. (So six total.)
• As you answer the 16 questions, you get to choose any 6 concepts (bold-faced terms) and integrate them into your response.
• You will cite the author of the concept, as opposed to the author of the textbook.
• For example, you might reference “Liking Love”–one of Sternberg’s eight possibilities in his Triangular Theory of Love. Therefore, the concept is “Liking Love.” The author is Sternberg.
• The 6 concepts you choose will come from chapters 3-7. Each chapter has numerous concepts–often 20 or more.
• You have flexibility in how many questions you answer per page. However, one way to think of it is this: answer about 4 questions per page (4 x 4 = 16). If a normal page has 3 paragraphs, on average, you can manageably answer 1-2 questions/per paragraph, or 3-6 per page. Of course, your first page of text has an introduction, and last page of text has a conclusion. Therefore, those two pages have a bit less space for answering questions. So it is totally fine, for example, to answer 3 questions in each of those (totaling 6) and then answer 5 in each of the other two pages (totaling 10). Thus you can still answer all 16 manageably. This is just a ballpark. You have latitude.
• For APA guidelines, please see: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
• Writing may be in the first-person. However, it should be formal; not casual. It should read like an essay instead of a journal.
• Refrain from contractions and grammatical errors. Reading your paper out loud helps.
• You do not need to type the questions; instead bold each question # so I can track them.
• Please bold each concept or theory, so I can track them.
Questions
**You may choose to skip any 1 question you wish for any reason.
1. What are your dating and relationship goals (e.g., to have fun, to not be alone, only date if it leads to marriage, date if you are in love, or some combination of the above)?
2. Is it your goal or intention to be engaged before graduation, soon after graduation, by mid-20’s, late 20’s, early 30’s, none of the above? Why?
3. How do you plan to intentionally be aware of gender, intimacy, and love in a dating relationship (i.e., what did you learn from these chapters that are helpful to know, such as being aware of healthier forms of love, attachment, gender)? The focus is on “awareness” and “what you learned”.
4. What is a specific strength and weakness regarding gender, intimacy, and love, especially as they pertain to dating? You can base this off of: a) a previous relationships; b) your own self-assessment; c) observations others have told you about; or d) for those who have not dated much, what you envision they would be.
5. What is the minimum amount of time you think that two people should date before getting engaged? Give a basis or explanation (logic, science, etc) for your view.
6. How should the final decision (engagement) be made? Of course, traditionally the guy pops the question. But whether it is the man or the woman who proposes, what do you think needs to be concretely or clearly expressed (verbally, in writing, with others, spiritually, etc)and agreed upon (clear mutual understanding), before he (or she, or they) gets the green light to propose?
7. Do you plan to cohabit before engagement, during engagement, or permanently (without marriage)—why or why not?
8. Prior to marriage, what forms of emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy with a dating partner do you think are acceptable or beneficial? Feel free to base this off of your ideological beliefs, research, logic, experience (and other forms of epistemology), etc, as to what might be healthy/not healthy for the future satisfaction or stability of the marriage.
9. Do you plan to get pre-engagement education – why or why not?
10. Whether or not you choose pre-engagement education, do you plan to get pre-marriageeducation – why or why not?
11. Will you take part in some form of marital enrichment (after you are married) for reminders, encouragement, booster sessions (e.g., conference, book, workshop, etc)?
12. To what extent should family, friends, others be involved in helping you discern who to date, how to date, or who/how to approach the actual marital decision?
13. There are various types of arranged marriages cross-culturally. However, it could be the parents choose someone and that is it. Or they continue offering suitors until the daughter says yes. Or the daughter continues dating until the parents approve of the right man (reversal of above option). What do you think the pros and cons are for those who have some form of arranged marriage? Could Westerners learn from those in arranged marriages around the world if it reduces the divorce rate, and if it helps families of origin, creation, and extended families stay more closely bonded, even if it gives up some freedom?
14. Do you agree with no-fault divorce laws? Why or why not?
15. Would you be open to seriously dating someone of a different: a) ethnicity; b) SES; c) denomination within religion; d) religion; e) state; or f) someone who you really love but who your family does not accept?
16. Almost all wedding vows (for first marriages) include “until death do us part” yet the divorce rate is around 40-50%. Are there any marriage “dealbreakers” (i.e., that would be grounds for divorce) that you will discuss with a serious dating partner before marriage? For example, although everyone is different in their decisions, here are a few options, among others:some say there are no “dealbreakers”; some might include those issues they interpret in the Bible, such as adultery, abandonment, and perhaps other issues; some might include serious issues (e.g., unchanging alcoholism/other substance abuse, physical abuse of self or child, emotional abuse, lack of steady job/provision, decision not to have children, refusal or inability to be physically intimate, breaking the law, incarceration, etc); some might include any reason for chronic unhappiness
Overview & Directions
• Microtheme #1 is 4 pages of text, plus cover page, and reference page. (So six total.)
• As you answer the 16 questions, you get to choose any 6 concepts (bold-faced terms) and integrate them into your response.
• You will cite the author of the concept, as opposed to the author of the textbook.
• For example, you might reference “Liking Love”–one of Sternberg’s eight possibilities in his Triangular Theory of Love. Therefore, the concept is “Liking Love.” The author is Sternberg.
• The 6 concepts you choose will come from chapters 3-7. Each chapter has numerous concepts–often 20 or more.
• You have flexibility in how many questions you answer per page. However, one way to think of it is this: answer about 4 questions per page (4 x 4 = 16). If a normal page has 3 paragraphs, on average, you can manageably answer 1-2 questions/per paragraph, or 3-6 per page. Of course, your first page of text has an introduction, and last page of text has a conclusion. Therefore, those two pages have a bit less space for answering questions. So it is totally fine, for example, to answer 3 questions in each of those (totaling 6) and then answer 5 in each of the other two pages (totaling 10). Thus you can still answer all 16 manageably. This is just a ballpark. You have latitude.
• For APA guidelines, please see: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
• Writing may be in the first-person. However, it should be formal; not casual. It should read like an essay instead of a journal.
• Refrain from contractions and grammatical errors. Reading your paper out loud helps.
• You do not need to type the questions; instead bold each question # so I can track them.
• Please bold each concept or theory, so I can track them.
Questions
**You may choose to skip any 1 question you wish for any reason.
1. What are your dating and relationship goals (e.g., to have fun, to not be alone, only date if it leads to marriage, date if you are in love, or some combination of the above)?
2. Is it your goal or intention to be engaged before graduation, soon after graduation, by mid-20’s, late 20’s, early 30’s, none of the above? Why?
3. How do you plan to intentionally be aware of gender, intimacy, and love in a dating relationship (i.e., what did you learn from these chapters that are helpful to know, such as being aware of healthier forms of love, attachment, gender)? The focus is on “awareness” and “what you learned”.
4. What is a specific strength and weakness regarding gender, intimacy, and love, especially as they pertain to dating? You can base this off of: a) a previous relationships; b) your own self-assessment; c) observations others have told you about; or d) for those who have not dated much, what you envision they would be.
5. What is the minimum amount of time you think that two people should date before getting engaged? Give a basis or explanation (logic, science, etc) for your view.
6. How should the final decision (engagement) be made? Of course, traditionally the guy pops the question. But whether it is the man or the woman who proposes, what do you think needs to be concretely or clearly expressed (verbally, in writing, with others, spiritually, etc)and agreed upon (clear mutual understanding), before he (or she, or they) gets the green light to propose?
7. Do you plan to cohabit before engagement, during engagement, or permanently (without marriage)—why or why not?
8. Prior to marriage, what forms of emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy with a dating partner do you think are acceptable or beneficial? Feel free to base this off of your ideological beliefs, research, logic, experience (and other forms of epistemology), etc, as to what might be healthy/not healthy for the future satisfaction or stability of the marriage.
9. Do you plan to get pre-engagement education – why or why not?
10. Whether or not you choose pre-engagement education, do you plan to get pre-marriageeducation – why or why not?
11. Will you take part in some form of marital enrichment (after you are married) for reminders, encouragement, booster sessions (e.g., conference, book, workshop, etc)?
12. To what extent should family, friends, others be involved in helping you discern who to date, how to date, or who/how to approach the actual marital decision?
13. There are various types of arranged marriages cross-culturally. However, it could be the parents choose someone and that is it. Or they continue offering suitors until the daughter says yes. Or the daughter continues dating until the parents approve of the right man (reversal of above option). What do you think the pros and cons are for those who have some form of arranged marriage? Could Westerners learn from those in arranged marriages around the world if it reduces the divorce rate, and if it helps families of origin, creation, and extended families stay more closely bonded, even if it gives up some freedom?
14. Do you agree with no-fault divorce laws? Why or why not?
15. Would you be open to seriously dating someone of a different: a) ethnicity; b) SES; c) denomination within religion; d) religion; e) state; or f) someone who you really love but who your family does not accept?
16. Almost all wedding vows (for first marriages) include “until death do us part” yet the divorce rate is around 40-50%. Are there any marriage “dealbreakers” (i.e., that would be grounds for divorce) that you will discuss with a serious dating partner before marriage? For example, although everyone is different in their decisions, here are a few options, among others:some say there are no “dealbreakers”; some might include those issues they interpret in the Bible, such as adultery, abandonment, and perhaps other issues; some might include serious issues (e.g., unchanging alcoholism/other substance abuse, physical abuse of self or child, emotional abuse, lack of steady job/provision, decision not to have children, refusal or inability to be physically intimate, breaking the law, incarceration, etc); some might include any reason for chronic unhappiness
Lamanna_13e_PPT_Ch03-2 (1) (1)
Solution preview for the order on Love and Marriage
APA
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